Our son, Owen Wiley, was born on February 14, 2024 at 4:43 pm. My overall birth experience was amazing and I feel very thankful for the hospital nurses, staff and of course, my doctor, who thankfully was able to be there for the delivery!
The Week Before
The week before Owen’s arrival, I had experienced minor cramps in the early mornings, sometimes waking me up, but they weren’t any worse than period cramps. Since this was my first birth, I wasn’t sure if those cramps were real contractions or Braxton Hicks contractions. I was on high alert for the 5-1-1 rule (contractions that are 5 minutes apart, that are 1 minute long, that last for 1 hour) or the other signs of labor. Part of me was hoping I would know I was in labor with the 5-1-1 rule, but another part of me wanted the “water-breaking” experience just so I knew for a fact it was time to go to the hospital. But as with the rest of my pregnancy, I let go of any expectations and let my body (and baby) tell me when it was time!
I was planning on starting my maternity leave a full week before my estimated due date of February 16th, so my team was also on alert for when I went into labor. Unfortunately, it was our “busy season” at work, but thankfully my team was amazing and had been preparing for my leave for a few weeks. Every morning I logged on was a “Vivian’s online so no baby today” kinda day. But every morning I evaluated whether or not my cramps were real. I used the contraction timer tool in the BabyCenter app (which I loved), but they were too inconsistent so we proceeded with life as normal. Once I made it to my last day of work on February 9th with no signs of active labor, I sent my final messages to my team and officially started my maternity leave!
Throughout the pregnancy and especially the last few months/weeks of the pregnancy, we tried to make sure everything in the house was in order. We had our hospital bags packed, bottles and pacifiers washed and sterilized, baby clothes and linens were washed, the car seat was installed, our sheets were freshly washed and changed, and we even got a few month’s worth of food and poop bags for Gordo. I thankfully felt very prepared for Owen’s arrival so was just left anticipating his arrival.
Amidst all of the baby preparations, one thing that I really struggled with but also wanted to prioritize before Owen’s arrival was spending quality time with Drew and Gordo. A few months before our due date, I started feeling a sense of grief about our old life. As I got more excited for Owen’s arrival, I was also feeling sad for the life we were moving on from. Each day became our “last” – our last weekends together, our last date nights, our last walks as a family of 3. Drew and I couldn’t wait for baby to be born, but I wanted to savor our “lasts” before our lives changed forever. Thankfully, Drew was and had been the most supportive partner I could have asked for and he made sure that our last few weeks were intentional and we made the most of them.
The Day Before
The day before what would be Owen’s birth date, I was (carefully) out and about. This morning, I was awoken by contractions that seemed more-than-minor so I started timing them. After about an hour of timing, I only experienced three that were 10 and 20 minutes apart so I considered them to be Braxton Hicks contractions and went on with my day.
I made a last-minute run to Costco for some toilet paper and paper towels. Normally when I go to Costco, I peruse through every aisle and let Costco tell ME what I need. However, this trip felt a little different. As I walked from the parking lot into the store, I started feeling those same minor contractions from the week before, except these were happening a few times each hour. Call it mother’s intuition, but I had a feeling that these were more “serious” than any other contractions I had felt before (spoiler alert: Drew AND I both predicted independently that Owen would be born the next day). I grabbed the two things I needed (without even looking at the books!!!) and made my way back home.
Drew was still working full time and was planning on working until it was go-time, so I told him that I had been experiencing cramping almost all morning when I got home. I did some last-minute cleaning and tidying when I got home and spent the rest of the evening vegging out on the couch to soak in potentially what would be my last few hours before becoming a mom, including squeezing in the latest episode of Vanderpump Rules.
The Day Of
The morning of Owen’s birth, I was again awoken by contractions. However, these were more intense than any other contractions I had recently felt. Only a few times in the previous weeks did I have contractions that were so painful that I couldn’t move or talk. This morning, they were all that way. At around 5 am (5:10 am to be exact) I had my first contraction and started tracking in the BabyCenter app. For the first 40 minutes, the contractions were consistent in length but the time between each was all over the place. First was 8 minutes, then 9 minutes, then 12 minutes, and even 3 minutes apart. I wanted to see if these were “real” or if they would go away after some time had passed. But after about an hour of consistent contractions, I decided to wake Drew up in case we needed to go to the hospital.
At that point, I had a thought that these weren’t real because when do you ever think you’re actually going into labor? My plan was just to wait it out, shower, and run a few more errands (I forgot to buy quiche from Costco the day before!!). But once 7 am hit, the contractions went from 0 to 100 real quick. They went from being 1-2 minutes in length and anywhere from 3-12 minutes apart to less than 1 minute in length and TWO TO THREE MINUTES APART. I started to panic a bit because I thought it was going to be a gradual increase in intensity and consistency, but nope, they were happening very quickly and painfully.
The exact period of transitioning from “these could be fake” to “we need to go to the hospital now” was a blur, but I’m pretty sure Drew was still downstairs taking it easy and making his pot of coffee. Once he came back upstairs, I told him that we should probably go to the hospital ASAP.
The next 30 minutes of preparation to go to the hospital felt like the slowest but most hectic 30 minutes of my life. I waddled over to the shower in between contractions and managed to get one last warm shower in while Drew fed and let Gordo out one last time and started packing up last-minute things (including his coffee). He helped me get dressed and started calling and texting our family (bless him).
Once we got into the car, the contractions were the most intense I had felt. I couldn’t move or hardly breathe, let alone all in a moving car during Houston’s rush hour traffic. It seemed like we hit every roadblock on our way to the hospital, from there being a train, to a road closure, to just general morning traffic and everyone going the same route as us to avoid said train and road closure. What would have taken 15-20 minutes without traffic, took us almost 45 minutes to get to the hospital. Drew did a great job navigating and keeping me as calm as possible until we made it there at around 8 am.
Thankfully our hospital had valet so we were able to pull up and unload our items fairly quickly. Unfortunately for me, they didn’t have wheelchairs at the valet (?????) so I had to hobble my way (hunched over to be specific) to the entrance while the staff found one for us. Note: Contractions while standing up hurt WAY more than contractions sitting or lying down. Once we got the wheelchair, Drew wheeled us up to the Labor and Delivery unit.
Drew checked us in and I had to wait for what felt like forever to 1) fill out paperwork and 2) for a L&D triage nurse to wheel me off to the triage room. She finally came and took me to the triage area, had more paperwork for me to sign, did her checks (I was 4cm dilated!), and confirmed with my doctor that I should be admitted to the hospital, all in between my contractions. When she got off the phone with my doctor and told me I was going to be admitted, it felt surreal. We had waited almost 10 months for this day and it was finally here. We were going to have a baby within the next 24-48 hours.
The Epidural
After I was hooked up to the IVs and my room was ready at around 10 am, I had to walk, yes WALK, back to the check-in area where the nurse hollered for Drew and went to my room. That was the last room in the L&D area because there were a lot of C-sections and births the day before, so I felt thankful to have a space. Once we got settled in the room, the labor nurse (who was the BEST labor nurse I could have asked for) came in and immediately asked if I wanted an epidural. After the pain I was in with the contractions, I responded with an enthusiastic and probably desperate YES. Within 10 minutes the anesthesiologist was in the room and prepping me for my epidural.
Honestly, the epidural was something I was almost more worried about than the birth itself. We had seen the needle in one of our prep classes and it was HUGE and looked painful. Luckily for me, the anesthesiologist was wonderful and explained every step to me and made me feel very calm and comfortable throughout the entire process. The most uncomfortable part was that I had to hunch over the side of the bed, as much as I could given my baby bump, all while experiencing contractions. The most painful part was the numbing shots, and at most it felt like an intense pinch. After that, I couldn’t feel any other part of the procedure.
The doctor sticks a needle down your spine and then threads a catheter that administers the pain medication. That part was painless but I did feel a bit of pressure, but nothing nearly as bad as contractions. The doctor then did a “test dose” to make sure the catheter was inserted correctly because it could go to one half of your body but not the other. But it honestly was not painful at all and within 15-20 minutes after, I was pain-free!
From that point, I was in labor, and let me tell you, the epidural plus the (TMI alert) catheter made the laboring part SO CHILL. I did not feel any pain from the contractions and only felt some pressure. More times than not Drew or a nurse told me that I was having a contraction from the monitors. If I did start to feel more than just pressure, I had a fun blue button I could press that would release more of the pain medication to my epidural. I really did think that if this was labor, I could do it all day.
The Labor
Before going into labor, I knew there was a risk that my doctor may not deliver my baby. So I was very happy to see my doctor walk into my room around noon! She ended up breaking my water and said that I should progress about 1cm per hour. At that point, I was 4cm dilated so that meant we could have a baby within the next 6 hours! For the next few hours, it was a waiting game for my body and baby to get ready to start pushing. I felt very calm and at peace. My dad came and visited for a bit while Drew went and got lunch. I was able to drink some clear liquids and had a few popsicles to hold me over since I couldn’t eat real food.
I still couldn’t feel any contractions at this point, but the nurse (and Drew) were monitoring me and the baby very closely at that point. After my water broke, it looked like the baby’s heart rate was dropping after each contraction when it should have been recovering, or going back to its normal 130-150bpm. The nurse came in and said she wasn’t worried, so we shouldn’t be either (in the nicest possible way). She thought that could have been caused by my position (I was lying on my back), so she suggested I try different positions. We tried going on my sides, which unfortunately didn’t help and then ended up on me being on my hands and knees, which was tricky considering I couldn’t feel either of my legs. Thankfully that last position helped the baby’s heart rate go back to normal, so I had to stay in that position for a while or until I needed a break.
After about 30 minutes of being in that position, we tried going back to laying on my back but that put the baby’s heart rate back at risk. I had also progressed quite a bit and was about 9cm dilated so we knew I was almost ready to push.
My doctor came back to the hospital around 3 pm and said I was ready to start pushing. This was when things started to get real. The scrub nurse came in and started setting up all of the delivery equipment (I couldn’t see what it was but I imagine it was a bunch of sterile surgical tools). My doctor and the labor nurse came in and said it was time to start pushing with Drew at one leg and the nurse at the other. They watched the monitor and told me to push during each contraction for 3-4 rounds for 10 seconds each. The sensation of pushing while having no feeling in your legs is a weird one. I felt like I did less pushing and more crunching of my stomach to squeeze the baby out.
After pushing for about an hour and in multiple positions, the baby’s heart rate was still not reacting in the way that my doctor was hoping. After every push, it seemed like the baby’s heart rate was not recovering back up as quickly as it was supposed to. My doctor stayed very calm, but she mentioned that we may need to use the vacuum to get him out quickly. Before today, Drew and I had prepared our birth plan and outlined all of the things we did and didn’t want for our birth, vacuuming our baby being one thing that we didn’t want. But once you hear that there’s any risk of a safe delivery, all plans go out the window. I wanted the doctor to do anything and everything she needed to make sure Owen was safe.
The Delivery
The next 30 minutes seemed like they went by so quickly. The neonatologist and neonatal nurse were in the room, as well as a second labor nurse, in case we did have to use the vacuum. After another few rounds of pushing, the baby was still in distress and my doctor said we may need to shift gears and do an emergency C-section. While my doctor and nurses didn’t seem too concerned, hearing this immediately caused me to start crying. The thought that they were concerned enough after over an hour of pushing that we may need to do an emergency C-section and that my and the baby’s lives were truly in their hands (plus all of the hormones going through my body) pushed me over the edge. While a C-section wasn’t part of our “plan”, it is major surgery, and the word “emergency” made it seem high risk.
Thankfully we were in great hands and my doctor wanted me to push a few more rounds before officially prepping for surgery. While I couldn’t feel myself pushing, laboring was getting tiring. You’re essentially “pushing” by holding your breath for 10-second increments with only one second breaks in between. I was determined to do my best to get baby Owen delivered safely without needed surgical intervention. My doctor, the nurses, and Drew were all so encouraging and after a few more rounds of pushing, baby Owen was delivered and placed on my chest at 4:43 pm.
It was such an out-of-body experience and I was almost in disbelief that he was finally here. I remember seeing and feeling this new human on my chest and feeling a sense of relief. This person that I had been growing in my body for the past 10 months was now real. Drew and I both wept from relief that he was in this world.
Because of the baby’s complications, Drew wasn’t able to cut the umbilical cord, and the baby was rushed to the warming table to be evaluated by his doctor and nurse while my doctor and nurses took care of me. I did end up having a second-degree tear but that was the last of my worries, but I was also thankful that I didn’t have to have an episiotomy.
The neonatal team did their evaluation of Owen and after a big first pee and poop, they declared him a healthy baby! He did swallow a lot of fluid on his way out, but nothing they were concerned about. Once they weighed, measured, and cleaned, they placed him on my chest and it was the most magical feeling.
The First Night
After I was stitched up and all of our immediate post-delivery checks were completed, Drew, Owen, and I were left in our room to recover and enjoy the moment. Our hospital did labor, delivery, and recovery all in the same room. At first, I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, but having experienced the entire process, it made the entire experience much more relaxed. We didn’t have to worry about re-packing all of our stuff and moving to another room. The hospital staff made sure our room was cleaned after delivery and you couldn’t even tell there was a delivery a few moments earlier.
The first few hours after delivery were filled with nurse check-ups and a lactation consultation, but otherwise were surreal. Our parents came to visit and meet baby Owen, and (almost) more importantly brought Jimmy John’s for dinner. It was so sweet to see my dad and Drew’s parents meet their new grandson (yes, tears were shed).
The first night went well, and I think we were operating on adrenaline, even though we had been up for what felt like over 24 hours. But overall, the first night went well. We did check on him every hour or so just to make sure he was breathing, but we had this cute little guy as part of our family. Postpartum recovery was a different story…but that’s for another time.
All of the first day checks and vaccinations went well and we were able to leave the hospital the next night!
We are now officially a family of four. The past three weeks postpartum have been a whirlwind of emotions. It has been a huge adjustment that I’m still physically and mentally working through, but I’m excited for this next chapter of life!
With love,
Vivian
