My 30th Year

Today is my 30th birthday! Thirty years of life filled with so many wonderful memories, but also with heartbreaks. I’ve learned so much about myself this past decade and celebrated many milestones, including graduating college and starting my career, marrying my high school sweetheart and purchasing our first home, expanding our family by adopting Gordo, finding my community, and exploring the world.

I know most people think 30 is “old”, but I’ve been looking forward to this next decade of life for a while. While I wouldn’t wish anyone to experience the hardships I’ve gone through the past few years, it truly has made me the person I am today, and in a way, I’m thankful for that. Losing two very important people in my life gave me the gift of perspective. Perspective that some only gain later in life; perspective that has helped me gain clarity on what truly matters; and perspective that has somehow felt like I’ve gained more years of my life, a life that is lived with purpose and intention.

As I enter the next chapter of my life, I’m feeling very grateful for the journey I’ve been on and the life I’ve built. It hasn’t been easy, but I feel content and hopeful about the future, and truly think the best is yet to come. I thought this would be a great time to reflect on a few aspects of my life where I feel as if I’ve grown and learned the most.

FAMILY

I am thankful to have grown up in a loving and supportive household, but the past few years have highlighted the importance of family. Particularly within the past five years, I’ve learned that family is everything. The one thing we can’t buy in life is time, so I’ve tried to take advantage of all of the time I have and spend it with the people I love. Whether it’s an impromptu Tuesday night dinner, or a planned date to see a Broadway show, I cherish all of the time I have with my family.

My early 20s were spent going on trips with friends, but toward my late 20s (and hoping to continue into my 30s), I was able to go on a lot of trips with my family. From visiting family in China, to Christmas markets in Germany, to skiing in Colorado, I’ve enjoyed and valued having those memories with my family to look back on. We’ve already planned our first family vacation for January 2023!

FRIENDSHIP

One of the most meaningful aspects of my life, aside from family, is my friendships. In the past, I’ve felt insecure about not having a large group of friends. However, in recent years, I’ve realized that I truly value the quality of friendships. The friendships that I have are SO important to me and I feel like I’ve found my people, but have also learned that it’s never “too late” to build and grow friendships.

I’ve tried to prioritize spending quality time with friends and it’s helped me realize how much I value having strong female friendships in my life. It’s been great to go on friend dates and lean on friends that I trust, and also support each other in good and tough times. I just went on a trip to Mexico to celebrate my 30th birthday with some of my dearest and it really has filled my soul!

WORK / LIFE

Anyone that has known me since I graduated college knows my thoughts on work. Based on my experiences, I’ve learned the importance of prioritization. I’ve come to the conclusion, that my priority in life is…life. My job has provided a lot for me, including some great friendships, and I’ve given a lot to my job (re: many hours during busy season). However, I’m trying to focus on and keep reminding myself of what’s important to me. One of the important lessons I’ve learned is setting boundaries. Whether that’s saying no to asks, or setting my own “hard stop” time every day, I’ve felt empowered to prioritize my well-being. I try to ask myself “If I look back in a year, will I be happy with the choice I made?” In most if not all instances when choosing between work and life, I’ll choose life and have not regretted it once.

With that said, I’ve also given myself space and time to explore my hobbies. Growing up, I had many varying interests. As I entered my late teens and early 20s, I let the stress of school and work take over my free time. I’m hoping to continue developing and exploring my interests in my next decade, including this blog! It has been so rewarding to create space for that part of my life and discover new things I enjoy, especially tapping into my creative side.

SELF-CARE

For the past few years, I’ve tried to work on improving and maintaining my mental health. Therapy (and in all seriousness, Gordo) has significantly improved my life. I see it as an opportunity to “drop off my baggage” in a safe space and talk through things that have been on my mind. In my teens and early 20s, I compared myself to others and put weight on what others thought of me. Along the way, I learned and adopted the mentality that what others think about me does not matter. I’ve come to realize that if someone has an issue with me, that is a problem with them. Of course, if there are true issues, I’m open to listening and resolving them. If it’s a matter of personal opinion, I’ve learned to put no weight on those and move on, which has helped maintain a peaceful headspace.

As part of self-care, I’ve allowed myself to not only take care of my mental health but also take care of my physical health. While I could spend more time exercising (a goal of mine for my 30s), I have tried to make room to take care of myself. I used to talk myself out of doing anything related to self-care, but toward my late 20s, I started allowing myself to do more. I’ve learned the importance of taking care of myself before I can take care of those around me.

WHAT I’M LOOKING FORWARD TO

If you know me, you know I’ve been saying that I’m excited to enter my 30s. It’s not as “scary” as people make it seem to be. I’m looking forward to expanding our family, traveling to more places in the world, spending quality time with family and friends, continuing to simplify and find balance in my life, and focus on what’s important to me.

I can genuinely say that I’m entering my 30s feeling with a great sense of myself. I’m so thankful for the people in my life and the experiences I’ve had the opportunity to have. I know I’m not perfect, but I feel confident in the person I am and am looking forward to the person I will become in this next decade.

Cheers to 30!

Vivian